I have gone through life wearing rose-colored glasses and living in a “Disney-filled dream” until like a flash of lighting, everything changed. My whole world-everything I had dreamed of since I was a little girl was gone. Husband I thought would grow old by my side…gone. Trust and marriage vows…gone. Christian family with mom and dad married and living together in the same house…gone. Close friendships…gone. Close-knit community on an island…gone. Beautiful house on the water…gone. Financial freedom to be a full-time stay at home and homeschooling mom…gone. Dreams shattered.
Over the past many months, I have been through my own type of hell. Hell of going through a terribly tragic, unwanted divorce. Hell of being betrayed by the one person I trusted most in the world. Hell of finding out things that would devastate anyone in a serious relationship; let alone a marriage. Hell of watching my children experience pain and despair. Hell of losing close friendships because of lies. Hell of legal bills and attorneys. Utter. Pure. Hell.
But you know what? I am not in hell anymore. I put on my big girl panties and gave it all to God. I trust that God will lead me through it, and He will help turn the bad into good. I honestly believe that God is using everything terrible that has happened to our family (not by Him!) and is somehow using it for His glory. Without being brought to my lowest, darkest moments (we are talking a lot of moments!) I would not have had the chance to be molded and shaped the way God intended for me. And you know what I also learned from being in the bottom of the pit? I learned that I was forced to look up. And that is exactly what I am doing now- looking up! I am looking up by being thankful. Everyday is a gift that we should be thankful for. We are not entitled to anything- especially life. Gratitude helps get us through the most challenging times. Gratitude leaves us looking at God and away from the bottom of the pit. And yes, we should be thankful and show gratitude even on our worst days. Jesus did. “On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it” (1 Corinthians 11:23-24).
Believe me, it definitely got worse before it got better. I am sure it will get worse again, but I am ready for it, because I have my co-pilot riding this rollercoaster called life with me. I got this and so do YOU!! “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31).